How big do you want your money?

Sometime last month I got a text from a guy that I had just met at a show I played at the previous day.

“Tobi are you ready to finally make big money?”

First of all bro, why do you think I don’t make big money already? You’re correct but what is your source? I’m interested — not even angry one bit. He then proceeds to copy and paste a pitch of this amazing investment opportunity. I knew what was coming and I honestly would have read it to the second paragraph but he misused ‘am’ and that was where he lost me, because I’m not dropping my money with someone that makes that type of mistake on something life-changing like a million-billion-dollar opportunity. Fix up Elon Musk.

I think it is safe to say that a lot of us have recently or at some point seen or received messages inviting us to ‘invest’. Investment seems like the word to paint the perfect picture that you can be a Warren Buffet. But unlike investments that you can follow your money and know where it’s going, the work it’s doing, and watch it fall on a sad graph, these guys get a hold of a fancy name, slap a ‘.com’ on it, and voila! They can promise you big money by looking at your star sign; poor Sagittarius.

See, it’s pretty straightforward when it comes to schemes like this and why people fall for it, spending is way easier than making money except, of course, you have soap. Right from the moment someone tells you that they just cashed out, you imagine yourself in their shoes, tap dancing to the music of credit alerts and you run the numbers in your head, maths is hard but money maths isn’t innit?

I’m about to embarrass myself but let me tell you a story of how I almost made big money. The year was 2018 I had just gotten into Uni, allowance was popping but I had this feeling deep down that I wasn’t maximizing my potentials money-wise, it was a deep longing. Around that time, I came across some guys talking about how someone got a very massive green with his stake…Hmm sounds like money to me; I did my findings, turns out I could literarily get rich overnight from sports betting, why didn’t I think of that? Maybe because I didn’t watch or know a lot about football and its brothers and sisters; I was thinking and the universe was listening or maybe it was just a perfectly timed coincidence, I wonder.

I did what any highly effective person would do, I convinced myself that I was about to invest and got to work immediately. I don’t think I’ve ever been that interested in football but I did my research, for ten minutes. I went on to the sites and set up different accounts, you know? like Bill Gates will never put all his eggs in one basket. I looked at a couple of matches for the day and one thing that I understood was odds, damn the odds were good, made me wonder why I hadn’t started investing since… then I cast my bread into the river (literally my food money) — I picked about six football matches and one tennis match, you know, for good luck, none of which I know or have heard of their names. This made me realize that there is something common to us investors; the tensed excitement with a sprinkle of fearful hope… oh and prayers.

It was a long day and I was watching the games closely, the tennis game was the third on my slip, and my guy didn’t win. You had just one job young man, just today’s match ahh. It was a painful first loss but did I let that little failure stop me from becoming rich? NO. I made up my mind to play bigger and smarter next time because my friend Bill Gates wouldn’t be where he is today if he had given up at the first sight of failure.

I did it again, this time with a little bit of research, analysis, and looking beyond the odds online, it’s time to play smart …Err I just said I did research right? If asking football fans who they think will win a match counts, then yes, extensive researcher right here. I divided my stake into two different accounts, very smart, right? I know thank you. This was a ‘go big or go home’ season so I cranked up the cash a bit, picked my matches, and yes! Waited for my harvest. I waited two days for all the matches to happen, the first day was a very good one, I definitely prayed for all the players and coaches that made me proud. The second day was green until the second match that made it blood red, ah tears.

At this point, I knew I didn’t have the mind, strength, luck, or money to continue down this probability path. I left to fight another day. I couldn’t cry or complain to anybody, what will I say? It wasn’t an honourable gamble. It wasn’t Bitcoin.

This experience and a few others are what have shaped my cynical view towards “investments”. Sometimes, many times maybe, a lot of people get rich quickly from Ponzi schemes, gambling and ‘investments’, well you might be lucky. Ultimately everything is a gamble of sorts, it just depends on how much you’re ready to lose, things go south fast. Having enough knowledge also helps you to recognize where to draw the line; if it’s Crypto, Stocks, or any other forms you’re getting into because the dip can get dipper anytime.

I almost forgot bro, his investment organization crashed the next week, and they said they’re taking two steps backwards to take five steps forward. I dodged that bullet thanks to Pontedera FC (i haven’t forgiven you guys). Sorry and thank you, bro, take those big money steps easy.